Labor is 'Mind' game

Alright ladies, labor as the name suggests is definitely hard work. Every person, who has been through labor has a story of their own. Based on the stories I have heard so far, a lot of deliveries do not go as planned. Nevertheless, it is worth preparing your body and mind for delivery.

Prepping for Labor

1. Stay active throughout pregnancy by exercising and/or walking for atleast 30 minutes 4-5 days a week unless specifically advised by your doctor to rest. 
2. Attend the labor/delivery class conducted at your hospital or elsewhere. They briefly go through the various pain management techniques, pros and cons of different pain medications such as anesthetics and epidural and also show you some not too graphic videos of labor. This helps you in deciding how you hope(you can only hope at this point) to manage your pain during labor. 
3. Attend your hospital tour. They generally take you around to show delivery rooms, registration process and vending machines.
4. Read through different pain management techniques and practice them. Breathing techniques make a big difference and believe me when I say it is worth practicing them. 
5. Prepare your hospital bag.
6. Attend breastfeeding class though this is more for after delivery.

My Birth Plan

As you get closer to your delivery date, your doctor will ask you to fill out your birth plan. Birth plan is typically 1-2 sheets of paper capturing your choice and preference made for time before and after your delivery such as the type of pain medication, whether you plan to breastfeed, whether daddy wants to cut the umbilical cord and so on. This in a way forces you to think and visualize your planned labor in a way.  

Every person I knew who had been through labor highly recommended taking epidural. And so without any doubt I was leaning towards taking epidural right after reaching hospital for delivery. But the decision is not that straightforward as epidural has its pros and cons. After reading up online about cases where taking epidural slowed down dilation and the fact that one is not allowed to walk post taking epidural made me re-think about taking epidural. So by the end, my plan was to delay if not avoid taking epidural. 

My Labor Story

Contractions

Like any FTM, I was clueless and desperate to understand how contractions are supposed to feel. And honestly, a bit frustrated with every online forum describing contraction as "you will known when you get it". Here's how I would describe it. Contractions start out feeling like lower abdomen pain similar to your monthly period pains but gradually gets a lot more intense. Your mucus plug will be released as discharge a few days earlier or on the day of your labor. So do pay attention towards your discharge especially as you get closer to labor. Mucus plug discharge can be clear, pink and brownish at various stages. Again it varies for everyone person and some may not see it turn brown at all. Braxton hicks are the practice contractions which many pregnant women experience at different stages of their pregnancy. But braxton hick contractions unlike real labor stop after drinking water or changing your position with walking or other activity.

My contractions started at 2.15 AM on week 38.5 of my pregnancy and continued occurring every 15 min for many more hours throughout the day. Though I could have slept through my contractions, I stayed up timing my contractions as I was not sure if it was time to head to hospital yet. So there I was timing my contractions at 2 in the morning next to my peacefully sleeping husband. I did not want to wake him up till its really time as he would need all his energy too while I go through labor.

Contractions started progressing slow and steady to become stronger and more frequent as the day progressed. I called labor and delivery department at my hospital a couple of times in the evening and they suggested I stay home till contractions are 2 min apart and I can no longer comfortably talk! 

Mucus Plug

I had started loosing pieces of my mucus plug at the beginning of week 38 and lost bigger/darker colored pieces of mucus plug on the day my labor started. Make sure you track your discharge during the last few weeks of your pregnancy.

Pain Management

One important take away from my labor class was learning how we react to pain. Whenever we experience sudden unexpected pain like stubbing a toe, we immediately start focusing on the part of the body that is hurt. This in fact worsens the situation and increases pain. So this is the first thing you want to keep in mind to help with pain management. Whenever your contractions begin, avoid focusing on the pain and instead distract yourself with anything that can retain your attention for long such as watching TV, cooking, walking, rocking a chair or just swaying with/without soothing music. Focused slow in and out breathing is the best way to help cope with the pain. Use one of the apps available to start timing your contractions. 

En route to Hospital

Most hospitals do not let you come in till your contractions are at least 5 min apart. Sadly or maybe for the better mine did not let me come in till I was 2 minutes apart. So after 20 hours of experiencing contractions, I was ready to go to hospital.

On reaching the hospital, I was checked to be 6cm dilated and 100%effaced. I was then given the choice to take epidural. As it looked like I was able to handle pain well till then, I agreed to not take epidural. And I continued breathing slow and steady while imagining to pour one drop of water taken in a spoon to the ocean each time I was contracting. After a few more hours of contractions and breathing, I was completely dilated to 10cm.

Now came the surprise! Post completely dilating, one needs to wait till they start feeling like pushing. And there was absolutely nothing anyone could do to help me feel like pushing. After few more hours of waiting through contractions, I started to feel like pushing. So then it began. I started pushing with every contraction and my midwife helped me try out pushing in different positions. It took a few pushes for me to get the hang of pushing. Remember to take a deep breath, hold it and push as hard as you can for every contraction. After 2 hours of pushing, an on call doctor recommended using pitocin to have more intense and frequent contractions as baby had not progressed downwards. So with pitocin induced stronger contractions, I pushed for 3 more hours. At the end of it, I still had my baby in between station 1 and station 2.

After 5 hours of pushing, my gynecologist came by and decided it is better to go for cesarean guessing my baby was too big to come down naturally. As I was pretty exhausted and sleepy at this point, I agreed for a cesarean delivery. It is always better to do whatever gets your baby out in a healthy way no matter which type of delivery you personally prefer.

Cesarean Delivery

For cesarean delivery, they have to give a general spinal anesthesia. So they started prepping the operating room. Meanwhile, I was still contracting and even stopping piton did not make it any better. At this point, I started feeling a lot more pain with every contraction than I experienced for the past many hours. Part of it was because I was on longer mentally determined and I just wanted my contractions to stop at this point. This is the reason I felt labor pain is mostly a mind game. The minute we decided to have a c section, I lost my mental calmness and wanted to speed up. Also, I stopped focusing on my breathing and instead on my pain. Personally, I would say the most painful and difficult part of my labor for me was the between the time I decided to have a c section till my spinal anesthesia kicked in. So rust me when I say focus on breathing and never on the pain during your labor. 

Birth

Finally after 36 hours of being in labor, I was in an operating room with my anesthesiologist. After a few more minutes of her finding a good spot for the shot down my spine, I finally stopped feeling my contractions. I was then made to sleep on the table with a blue sheet blocking me from seeing all the c section delivery action. At this point  with my lower half of the body all numbed out, I was basically trying hard just to stay awake. 

After around 10-20 minutes, my doctor said the golden words "Aryaana is here and she is beautiful!".  That moment will always be among the most special and memorable moments of my life. In fact, it is hard to explain but makes every minute of the labor worth it. After a few more minutes, doctors placed my darling daughter on my chest for bonding time and she was the cutest pink bundle of love I had ever seen in my life. It was one of the those master card's "priceless" moments.